Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The nuances of choosing your seat...

When I get onto the wonderful metro bus here in Seattle, I flash my UPASS at the driver and begin the epic search for a seat. I don't want to sit in the very front of the bus because they are reserved for the elderly and disabled, so I move right past them to the middle of the bus. Now these seats are arranged facing the front of the bus with two seats on each side... Enter my dilemma.

Why do you uppity mofo's sit in the aisle seat when there is no one sitting in the window seat! You know that this makes it extraordinarily difficult to sit next to you. No need to answer me, because I already know the answer... You think you are too good to sit next to someone else. You don't want to have to rub shoulders with the greater Seattle public. Do you not realize that you are riding the metro with every other person in Seattle? You are NOT better than the rest of us, and your high class ass certainly doesn't need two seats. Get over yourself and move on over!

Here are some more nuances to make your bus ride more pleasant. Earphones are meant to allow an individual to listen to music without forcing those around you to listen as well. Why then do you turn your music up SO LOUD that we all can hear it? Let me bump some explicit Kenny G the next time I sit next to you and see how you like it.

Why are you yelling into your cellphone in a confined public space!?! I don't want to hear about your ex-girlfriend, or how horrible your english is. Please do not speak loudly into your cell on the bus, especially if you find it necessary to say n*$$*r every other word.

PAY YOUR FARE! Don't get onto the bus if you know that you will have to beg the bus driver to let you off without paying. You are screwing over the rest of us by making us wait and listen to your pleas, as well as raising our fare to cover their lost income from riders like you!

In other words, please have some respect for your fellow riders. It makes all of our lives a lot less stressful.


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