Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Ode to Testicles!



I would like to tell you all a story about a little Boxer (dog) named Harry. My folk's left for Missouri about four months ago with the goal of riding their bikes across the state (which they did). However they came back with much more than sore butts... Enter Harry Potter Truman! He wasn't even ten pounds at the time and fit comfortably cradled in one arm. The little dot on his upper lip was so cute...


Well inevitably he began to grow. 10 lbs, 20 lbs, 30 lbs, 40 lbs, 50 lbs, 60 lbs, and all in just four months. Now Harry is the first male dog that I have seen grow through adolescence, and he didn't just gain weight. Why he gained some testicles... (balls, gonads, family jewels), and boy was he anxious to take them for a test drive. The dog across the street went into heat a few weeks ago and Harry happily ventured across the street (getting shocked by a shock collar the entire time) to have a smell. It spelled doom for my little dog...


Today marks the very destruction of his little manhoods (nuts, cojones, stones). This morning he was the happiest dog alive, but now he sits down in his crate on drugs that surely can't overcome the emotional trama of having his man tonsils cut off! It is no wonder that there are so many animals out there, but only dogs qualify as man's best friend. No one has ever claimed Dogs were the smartest animals in the world. Would you want to become friends with someone who will eventually cut your love spuds off! I didn't think so...


So I now raise my Coca Cola to Harry Potter Truman, who today sits in a drugged out stupor that is only delaying his knowledge of the trauma that has befallen him. I love you Harry, and I hope that you can one day forgive us...


Cheers!

2 comments:

  1. Poor Harry baby, Im in tears over here! The child I gave up, its so hard not to be there in his time of need! Please take good care of him, and let him lick you on the face! Love, aunt Sal

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  2. Ah Aunt Sally! I hope all is well, or at least better than it is for Harry right now. Say hello to the Kansas family for me!

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